The Ohio Board of Nursing is going to send me a renewal package!!!! I am so happy! I can't believe it was so easy. I have cowered for years, smothered by pride, guilt and shame. My pride refused to allow me to admit that I was suffering the consequences of my lifestyle choices. Until I could face the fact that my life was damaged and that the damage really mattered, I was unable to move forward into recovery. There are still problems. My criminal record along with my poor work history will make it hard for me to find employment. But at least I have a chance. If not, I can use my LPN license to take an accelerated RN degree course, after which I'm sure I'll get a job. I hope that I'm not fooling myself. There is one administrator who might give me a chance even though I burned her by disappearing from the job a few years ago. Another positive is that since my license has been lapsed for over five years, I must take certain courses to bring it up to date. Hopefully, this will be looked on favorably by the hiring managers that I encounter.
You know, I never valued having a career as an LPN but I was too dysfunctional to succeed in doing anything about it. I made several attempts at a RN degree but would always drop out before I could get it. This is where it gets tricky. I don't know if I'll be able to do it now, but realizing this about myself makes the career that I have all the more important. Because I want to have a good life and that is something new.